Friday Soapbox: Blogger’s Block….

You may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while. I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to think of anything interesting to write about. It’s a hard time of year for me anyway, but I had hoped this year would be easier. You see 10 years ago my Mom died. We took her to the hospital on Christmas Eve and spent Christmas morning waiting for her to get out of surgery. She would be unresponsive for the next 10 days and I would have to make the agonizing decision to let her go. I would never get to say goodbye. I use to love Christmas and enjoyed everything about it, but since her death I am just not into it. I try and pretend for my family but I feel empty, no Christmas spirit. For example I brought a tree home and it is still not decorated. It just sits there with no lights or ornaments, no presents underneath, a sad picture of Christmas. Christmas Day will come and I will cook a great meal. The kids and grand-kids will come over and we will all count our blessings. There will be love and holiday cheer and a whole lot of eggnog. I will smile and pretend that I feel it, but inside I feel sad and lonely in way I can’t explain. How much time needs to pass before I feel a spark of Noel again, I do miss it.

This year has been particularly hard because of financial issues caused by the writers and actors strikes 2 years ago as well as the economy. I don’t think anyone realizes just how hard the entertainment industry suffered because of those strikes. The writers and actors and directors all benefited but the rest of us did not. We all lost benefits and many even lost their homes. We at least kept our house and we were lucky to have savings to live on, of course we can’t retire now.  I decided to go back to work so I could help out, but found I am not qualified to do anything, not even child care. Oh the irony of that. I think most people are having similar problems for various reasons so I shouldn’t gripe. But it’s hard to find the Merry when your worrying about how to pay the electric bill or you can’t find work. I want to end this post on a positive note so I am going to ask you to count your blessings, at least three of them. Post them on your blog or in a comment. Maybe it will make us all feel better.

These are mine:

1. A new grandchild on the way

I’m still working on the other 2.

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About insider53

Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Friend, Writer, Voracious Reader, and so much more.
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12 Responses to Friday Soapbox: Blogger’s Block….

  1. Evenshine says:

    Oh, Robin. I’m so sorry to hear about all this. Please, please know you are not alone in the financial woes. It will be some time before we’ll have any equilibrium ourselves. Blessings to you and yours.

    1. Health care (finally, after 2 years without)
    2. A job I love (most of the time)
    3. Shearling slippers.

  2. LisaF says:

    If I could reach through the computer and hug you, I would. I’d also decorate your tree and wrap your gifts. Wander over to my place for Five Good Things, a Friday Funny and my post about losing my dad around the holidays (In Remembrance at Christmas). Feel free to dampen the shoulder if you need it.

  3. Ink says:

    (((((Robin))))) Hang in there. It’s rough for so many people these days, and it’s just GOT to get better. Right?

  4. ourprivateblog says:

    So sorry about your Mum and the way you feel about Christmas – I hope that this year it will be as good as it possibly can be – and after having had a terrible week your words about counting our blessings really hit home – thankyou

  5. LisaF says:

    I added another funny on my Friday Funnies just for you. I think it may be worth a giggle.

  6. faemom says:

    *hugs* Sometimes it takes a while. But you’re starting in the right step. I worked for several weeks on finding a 1000 things I was thankful for.
    1. Plastic. (You have no idea how many things would be broken in my house without it.)
    2. My boys.
    3. Magic (because it’s out there. You just have to see it.)
    I wish I could come over and cheer you up!

  7. Jane says:

    Oh Robin, I had no idea. I’m so very sorry for what you must go through this time of year. When I sent my note last night I did not mean to stir up sad feelings. I was just missing you and making sure you were ok. But you’re not. And for that I just want to come over to your house, make you tea and do all the decorating and wrapping that you’re finding difficult to do right now. I can only send good wishes through the bloggy lines – am doing that now *squeezing eyes tight with all the energy I can muster* xoxoxoxo

  8. insider53 says:

    Evenshine: Slippers, a good one :D

    Fae: I agree magic exists. It’s just hard to see through the tears sometimes.

    Ink: I hope it gets better, knock wood.

    Lisa: I loved the photo and thanks for making me laugh.

    Jane: I wish you could come over too. We would have tea and talk and tell each other funny stories about our lives. We might even get around to decorating the tree, eventually.

    Thank you all for caring.

  9. Yaya says:

    ((((Hugs))))

    I am thankful for:

    My husband
    My furbabies
    Our new HOUSE!!!
    Adoption

  10. '75 says:

    Mom, your second blessing should be this blog. Not only have you found your voice and a place to express it, but look at all the new friends you have made…….all these new people who log in each day because they want to see what crazy thing you will say next, and most of all because they care. Not many people can say that they have their own very special soapbox that people look forward to listening to……….or you can feel blessed cause I’m your kid! ;)

  11. Gibby says:

    I wish I could come decorate your tree for you. This can be the happiest time of year or the worst, sometimes I think there might not be an in-between. Sending you hugs…

    1. My hubby, who gets that staying home with kids every day is not all that it is cracked up to be.
    2. My girls, who, although they drive me nuts, I love so much it hurts.
    3. Baileys in my coffee. (Kidding.) (Not really.)

  12. Oh Robin, I am so sorry. I cannot even fathom how hard it must be to face the holidays without your mom. (((hugs)))

    Things I am thankful for:
    -online shopping
    -a white christmas (but only 5 inches of the stuff)
    -grain alcohol… :)

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