A Day To Remember: May 2, 1975….

Today is the birthday of my first born…my daughter ’75. I sent her a text because that is how we communicate at the moment. I miss her and wish I could share this day with her but that is not possible for now.

It was a special day….a day of joy. The baby was coming and I was scared to death. I had never had a baby before. I didn’t know how to be a Mom. What was I thinking. How was I going to get through this….like I had a choice at this point. I was so young, only 20 years old. I had you in a catholic hospital surrounded by nuns who spoke no English. Your father was not allowed to be with me and had to stay in the waiting room because that was the way of things in 1975. I was alone….but not really because you were there too and probably just as scared as I was.

The experience of birth is shared by Mother and child. It is not an easy thing for either. You begin by sharing a journey of 9 months. Growing and changing. Everything new, unexpected and yet fulfilling in a way that surprises you. You are uncomfortable, often painfully, vomiting, exhausted, but somehow in spite of all that you are happy. So very happy.

So today I will remember that happiness and hold it close. It was a good day and I celebrate it with you. Happy Birthday my daughter.

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Easter Blues….

Tomorrow is Easter and boy did it sneak up on me. We use to celebrate big….when the kids were little. We would dye and hide eggs and have a prize for finding the special egg….when the kids were little. The family would gather and talk and eat a holiday meal….when the kids were little.

Now the kids are not so little and we just don’t gather anymore. No holiday ham, no special eggs. It’s almost as though it isn’t even Easter. The day will come in a burst of very nice weather I am told but that will be the only fanfare. Easter is a celebration of the Resurrection and the Covenant that God made with man. I continue to celebrate this quietly and internally but I miss “when the kids were little”

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Reflections From My Journal….

What a day. Must be the wind because my mind keeps going to the strangest places. Life is a journey. Life has a beginning, birth, and an end, death. As we get older we see the end and it flies toward us at tremendous speed while in a strange juxtaposition we slow down and the path seems longer and more tortuous. Our bodies hurt and our minds betray us. But what of our emotions and our hearts. I think our hearts break because of all the loss and emotional turmoil we have suffered, especially in our older years. I think our emotions wear out because of years of use, one thing piled on top of another, and abuse by ourselves and our friends and families. Finally there is just no more room for anything significant and we start to flow over like an overfilled cup. We break down and become shadows of who we use to be. We watch the ones we love leave us one by one until we are the last of our group, waiting, waiting to follow. Life is a journey we have no choice but to take so we hang on for the ride.

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The IPad And Me….

Hello from my iPad. I am writing my first post from my new iPad 2. My birthday was this month and my husband gave me one…wow! I am still getting to know it and all the cool apps you can get but so far I love it. I am currently using an app called blogsy and it seems to do everything I need it to. Maybe now you will hear from me more often as I am on the go so much. This is pretty easy to use and very cool. So a big shout out “thank you ’73”. Now for my first attempt to insert a photo.

Yay! It worked, I think.

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